Timeless

I'm doing my best to keep this log up to date and keep it going, for I believe it is a great way for me to expand my understanding of my experiences within SecondLife. I was planning to write something that I recently discovered about myself when it comes to letting go of old ideas. I was in the middle of writing it (and I promise I will publish it when its finished) when I became quite taken with something that Spanks wrote today (or rather yesterday) on his own blog. It had to do with Einstein, time travel, and the complexities therein, as well as what Einstein would have thought about SL.

I became so very intrigued with his post that I quickly forgot all about my own, and lost my train of thought. All of a sudden it didn't seem so important. That's how powerful his words can be, and just another in the plethora of reasons why I love him so.

There are so many things I could say to expand on his topic, so many directions I could go with it, but to be honest what he said was quite moving and I can't think of a thing to add, other than the video below. Its a clip from one of my favorite all-time science fiction series, Babylon 5. It was written by a man named Joe Straczynski, a most incredible writer and creative soul who I have had the honor of meeting once in my life. His writing style is unbelievably subtle, and his story arcs within B5 are to be reverred. This clip, which is two scenes put together for reference purposes, has a monologue given by the character G'Kar, played by the late, great Andreas Katsulas who passed beyond the rim just over a year ago. Spanks' blog post immediately made me think of G'Kar's words, again a tribute to the power of his own.

May these words have as much an effect on you as they did me - Dari

House Proud!

I haven't posted yet this week, but I am exhausted so this will be short but very, very sweet!

So we went shopping for boots today. And we did find boots for Spanks which is good!

But then as we are strolling along in this neko/goth/punk sim called Hells End, wandering and window shopping we came upon this at the end of the street...

... and we both fell in love with it immediately! I ask you, is this not the bestest cottage you ever saw in your SecondLife?

Such wonderful ideas came to mind as we are looking it over and Spanks is taking pictures (and I'm crashing for like the 10th time LOL).

We found out who had built it and ran there immediately. The guy is named Maxwell Graf in SL and he runs Rustica, which can be found here on the region of the same name. If you are looking for incredibly detailed builds of olde world craftsman-type creations (think english countryside, Victorian or even Elizabethan era) then you HAVE TO pay him a visit. He says he's always there, and I'll tell you. When we went to have a look at this masterpiece and pick it up for ourselves, he was right there at the TP spot to greet us and answer our questions.

A word of warning, though: Its a heavy lag sim, and its easy to get lost. Do NOT go there if your system is low power unless you set your graphics to Low! If you are looking for the houses and castles (such as this gorgeous piece of work, which is called the Carriageway House) remember: Head South!

Oh, he is also having a special for those who buy one of these beautiful cottages, as it is just brand new to his line and he's looking to promote it. If you buy one, you get 30% off, up to L$10,000 on any furniture you purchase for it! How cool is that?

And let me tell you this... I do NOT promote every product I run across in SL. This one is very special. Spanks and I just laid down on the master bedroom floor, in front of the hearth with a warm fire (discovered when you burn a fire in the fireplace, it actually makes smoke out of the stack at the same time! OMFG!) after we bought it and set it up, just admiring it and chatting away until kitteh nap-time. It truly feels like a second home, to the both of us. And if you've ever seen where we live, you know that is saying something BIG!

I will definitely miss the castle which this replaces. I have so many beautiful memories of that place. So many wonderful experiences that we shared... <*sighs*>

And I know this new and beautiful creation will serve to help create even more beautiful memories and incredible experiences for us! Welcome to our sim, Carriageway House!

Anyway, I had to share this with you all before I hit the sheets. Tomorrow is promising to be another special day with my beautiful boy, and I don't want to miss one second of it!

Peace and Out! - Dari


P.S. - This one's for us, love! =^..^=

Revenge... Sweet Bloody Revenge

Those who know will understand...

...those who do not will not.

Just ask.

Lucky Number Seven

As the sun sets on yet another SL day, I sit here naked and alone...

No, not depressed, not upset, not angry...

Just like that. Naked and Alone. But with one difference.

I'm sitting with a smile on my face.

And no, it isn't for the reasons you are thinking of, you big pervs...

I am sitting here naked and alone, because technology has apparently turned evil once again and has kept my beloved offline for the last two hours, right at one of the worst possible moments, as per usual. By now he's fast asleep, at least I hope he is. It is very late for him right now, and he's had quite a full day.

Now as for the smile on my face...

I came to realize, sitting here in the living room, naked and alone in front of the fire, while hoping against all hope that the Internet Gods would smile down, that today is a very special Friday. As have been the previous six Fridays been very special Fridays.

You see, it was seven weeks ago today that I fell in love with my beautiful Spanks. Seven weeks ago today that he and I danced together for the first time on the gazebo for hours and hours. Seven weeks ago today that I gave him my heart, and he gave me his. We have been together for seven long, glorious weeks. Nearly two full months. 49 whole days and nights. Its a dream come true. And every day has been special, unique, and in its own way glorious.

Have we had our problems? Yes. Have we had slings and arrows? Definitely. Have we had our ups and our downs? Absolutely. And are we still together?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes, we are. Without a doubt. 7 weeks and still going strong!

I love you more and more each day, Spanks. You are my sun, my moon, and all the stars above. But more than anything else, you are my lover, my friend, my confidant and my partner. With trust, communication, and honesty, together there's nothing we can't get through.

This one's for you love. Happy 7 Weeks!

--- Dari

The In Between Moment

I'm right now in the middle of writing a very special story for a very special someone and have found that I really do need a break or else I'm never gonna finish it. (If you don't understand that statement, feel free to ask!)

So I thought I'd take a moment and do another kind of writing for a bit. Its been a few days since my last update and I know you are all just dying to hear what's been going on. Right? You are right? ... hello? Anyone out there? IS THIS THING ON?

Anyhow...

The last few days have been pretty good ones. RL has been somewhat taxing in its own right, drawing me away from my SL time, which I don't care for much at all. A good deal of my SL time has been spent trying to help Jennifer and Stuart resolve the problems they are now facing.

Interestingly enough, the problem they now face was something that Spanks and I discussed at some length this evening in regard to us: the separation between our SL and RL lives. It was something we hadn't really discussed before in great detail, and something I was afraid would come up eventually, as it usually does within serious SL relationships (as has been proven to me again and again by the people around me). I would like to think that I was as clear as he was about my viewpoint on the matter, though I'm not quite sure I was. Hopefully he understands how I feel and knows that he and I do indeed share the same view. I was a bit caught up in the topic at the time, and what I was saying may have been taken to mean something completely different. It has happened before, with devistating results. I don't ever want that to happen again.

As I sat there listening to him, I came to realize that we both see things the same way, and for very similar reasons. I hadn't yet been able to explain to him the reasons behind why I reached the same conclusion that he did as far as relationships, as it is still something that haunts me to this day. I was able to discuss it with someone close to me who is well aware of my past later on, and I feel I'm ready to tell Spanks. He deserves to know, and to know that once again he is not alone when it comes to how he feels.

Confused? You should be if you weren't there for the conversation! (silly readers)

And if you are wondering: No, my feelings toward my beloved have not changed. If anything, once again I feel closer to him. He is still my beautiful soulmate and I love him more than he'll ever know.

Later on I spent some time with Jennifer and helped her make a decision of a new land parcel. I hope she decides to go for it. She really needs time away from Stuart so she can get things clear in her own head.

Afterwards I just managed to make it to the debut of DJ Mirah at a club called Sodom (great name, yea?) in-world. I was only there for maybe 20 minutes but I almost immediately liked the place. Its well run, they have good dancers (they are looking for more dancers by the way, if anyone is interested) and the host was very good at his job. I even won a few Linden from the 'sploder, which never happens!

The rest of the evening has been spent finishing this very special story I told you about. Its just about ready to be handed over and enjoyed. I really hope the person its going to likes it. It has my heart and soul all thru it. I'm writing again like I used to, thanks to this very special person.

Well, back to it. I can't wait to see what I'm going to write next!

Until next time --- Dari


P.S. - This song's for you, love

The First Time

After much consideration, and conversation with my beloved, I'm afraid I must disappoint all my loyal readers. The previously promised telling of the epic story known here as "The Story of Us" will not be told within this blog. The reasoning is sound to both of us: Its our story, about us, by us and ultimately for us. It is special, quite intimate and above all sacred.

Those of you who are in the know, you know the story. The rest, as much as your readership is valued and I hate to disappoint, will have to glean from these entries the parts of our story that are shared, and imagine the rest. I know I dream about it every day and night.

(/ me smiles soppy-eyed)

But, not to leave this entry completely empty, I will instead share with you a song (with video and lyrics of course!) that has great meaning to me. In your presence, beautiful one, whenever we meet, whenever you rezz in-world, whenever you say your first hello of the day... it truly feels like the first time all over again.

(/ me loves him beautiful kitteh with all his heart and soul)

Enjoy - Dari

"First Time"

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken
It's easier to hide

Looking at you,holding my breath,
For once in my life,I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,letting you inside.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I'm wrong,
But I'm feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I'm scared to death,
I'm taking a chance,
Letting you inside.

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We're crashing
Into the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that's under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

Catching Up!

The last few days have been quite wonderful! The new year has begun, and so far all is well. I keep waiting for something weird, strange or devastating to occur, and so far no kaboom to report.

I've had wonderful times with Spanks in-world. I built us a new building on the RP sim and we got rid of the big, scary asylum (neither of us could think of any time we'd want to use that creepy thing. It's nice for Halloween stuff, but otherwise - /me shivers!). We also decked out the prison and I built an addition for us on the school. Oh, and we finally figured out what I was doing wrong with the whole group rights thing on the sims so Spanks has been perfecting his skills as a landscaper and terraformer. He made some beautiful hills and mountains on the RP sim around the castle and it looks even more beautiful now. Every day we are adding to it or changing it in some way. Its evolving, almost taking on a life of its own. I'm having such fun, and its all because of my beloved. Without him, there would be no RP sim... there would be no beautiful home sim that we share together... there would be me, still sitting in the meditation garden, cold and alone.

New Years Eve was somewhat strained for us, but I wouldn't change a thing about it. It started out rough, but it ended with great love and devotion. We were in the beginning having a rather intense discussion when suddenly my cable modem cut out and I was dropped off line. I nearly had a heart attack when that happened, as the point in our discussion at that time was rather intense, and I was struck with a great fear that Spanks would think that I'd just thrown up my hands and logged out. I tore my entire network apart (something I don't do as a geek - I always troubleshoot by steps) looking for the problem, sweating and in a complete panic. I finally managed to track down the problem to - of course - my bloody ISP's cable modem. They had decided that New Year's Eve would be a perfect time to download a firmware update to my cable modem and then reset it.

Well fuck! Who wouldn't think that, really? (he says sarcastically) I mean, who in the world would be online, chatting with friends and watching streaming video of celebrations around the world, exchanging greetings and starting things off on the right foot, on a night like New Years FUCKING EVE?!?!?!?!?!? (he says with venom dripping from his fangs)

(Goldfinger impression) I'm a patient, man Mr. Bond ( / Goldfinger Impression) Normally, I truly am. But when my heart is aching, my lungs are pumping a roomful of air every 30 seconds, and I'm sweating years away in desperation, well... lets say Mother Theresa would have gotten out the shotgun by that point. Needless to say my ISP was read the riot act. I had three technicians on the phone with me all at the same time, under the threat of painful death working to fix the problem. Within about an hour I was back up and running and slamming down on my mouse to start the SL viewer.

When I got back in-world, Spanks and I were able to sit down and talk thru the things that were hanging over us when I'd been dropped from the Internet. We spent the next few hours dancing on the gazebo, round and round, the sun rising and setting many times, as we welcomed in the New Year in his part of the globe with smiles and hugs and kisses. He asked me to tell him the story that I love the most. "The Story of Us". I told it as I'd never told it before, including all those little things that I'd never before mentioned. Things I was always afraid to reveal for fear that he'd think either less of me, or just think I was a complete nutter. It turned out I had no basis for those fears. If anything, those details I'd left out before brought us closer together. He even added details of his own, all of which I revelled in listening to. The Story of Us became more and more detailed, forever ingrained in my heart and soul. From the song of songs I say... "Me to my lover, my lover to me"

Last night was a bit of a rough night, but also wonderful. We spent a great evening together exploring boundaries and limits and surprised ourselves I think with where a person can go with someone they truly love and trust deeply and completely. Afterward it was bedtime for kitten and he decided to lay down on his rug in the castle with Larentia at his side. I sat there next to him, watching him sleep. He decided to sleep online, and I promised to watch over him. Eventually I started to get tired as well and found this great sleep animation (the same one he uses LOL). Shortly after he was asleep I pulled up my blanket and laid next to the computer, dozing on and off while watching him sleep. It was so wonderful. I can't explain it, but I felt even closer to him at that moment. I could almost feel him cuddled up next to me, breathing softly.

A while later his brother logged in and needed to chat. He had woken up at that point already and was awake to see his IM. I stayed back in the castle snoozing while he went to talk with his brother. Shortly after I got an IM from Jenn who needed a chat. So I pulled back the covers and went to meet her to chat in the meditation garden. So I was helping Jenn while Spanks was helping his brother. All the while we were checking on each other in IM. It was so very late at that point for him (nearly 6am), and was getting late for me, so of course I was concerned. But he is a good friend and brother and managed to make it thru. Jenn and I talked until I was unable to hold a conversation and she went off to think for a while. I then went looking for one of our sea turtles who had somehow managed to go missing all by himself. It turned out he had imbedded himself in the sim! I worked him out and reset the area swim marker as that's probably what caused the problem in the first place. Afterward Spanks and I got together and cuddled up for a bit before he logged off for the night / morning. As I said, a bit of a rough night but all in all wonderful.

I sit here now in the meditation garden, awaiting my love's return in-world. Its Saturday and no doubt his RL has intervened. I know he'll be along when he can be. But for now, I sit in the meditation garden, thinking of things to do to the RP sim, thinking of things to do to the home sim, and in general thinking of things to do when I get up from the meditation mat. I think I need more coffee!

Until next time... * Dari *

Variations on a Theme

It would appear that I am not the only one in SecondLife who is commenting on the ideas of RL versus SL right at the moment. Not that I think I'm the first, the last or the only person to do so.

I ran across the Op/Ed piece below by Jessica Holyoke in the Second Life Herald today that I just had to link to here. The title is Finding Real People in Second Life. I'll comment no further, just enjoy the piece.

Finding Real People in Second Life

- Dari