Friends and Lovers

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
- James Baldwin

This quote popped into my head just a little while ago when I received a most astonishing note from Jennifer, my friend who is getting married to my other SL friend Stuart on Saturday. That was until I got this note...

"We are going to have to postpone the wedding. You have all been wonderful through all of the wedding planning and you are all very treasured friends. We will be sending a notecard out to all of those invited to the wedding, but wanted you to know first.

"We don't know at this point when we will reschedule the wedding for. You all know how we feel about each other and how our relationship is far more than SL. At this moment we are not able to stand up and commit ourselves as husband and wife because for us it is not just an SL commitment, but a RL commitment as well.

"There have been some RL things that have taken us a little out of SL and forced us to deal in RL for a bit.

"This has been a very hard decision for us to make, but it is necessary for right now. Thanks so much for your support and your friendship. We will be in touch.

Jennifer and Stuart"

This really hit me and I'm sure others from out of left field. Just last night Jennifer and I were working with the wedding people to get things finalized for the ceremony on Saturday. Needless to say this is a serious WTF moment.

But reading the part about RL things taking them a little out of SL rings a bell with me, and makes me think about my two previous posts. The lines of SL and RL can be difficult to determine for some people. For me, because of the intense and REAL love I feel for Spanks I have found that there really is no line to cross, no mask to remove. Yes, there are those things that you don't give out about yourself to just anyone online. But when you are in such a close relationship with someone in the digital domain, those lines that normally divide RL and SL just somehow fade away. Between Spanks and I, those lines are fading faster every single day. And I couldn't be happier.

In this day and age of digital connection and technology which enables us to cross continents in milliseconds, the masks that James Baldwin spoke of decades ago are most applicable in the RL/SL division that so many still feel the need to cling to. This isn't giving out such mundane things as credit card numbers we are talking about. It is our heart. It is our soul. It is our very essence that the mask disguises. And it is that mask that has been responsible for more damage and more misunderstanding in SL relationships - in all online relationships - than anything else.

I am grateful today, somehow more grateful dispite the problems Jennifer and Stuart appear to have run into, that I have the relationship that I do with Spanks. I love you so much, baby. As midnight loves the moon.